New year resolutions!

It's 2013 already! Time really flies.
And we didn't died on 21/12/2012!
We've survived so many doomsday hoax so if there is more to come, no one gives a shit anymore.

Anyway, I'm gonna jot down some resolutions for this year.
This time, I've to set a deadline for each and every single resolution because I'm afraid I will not achieve them again, like how it was in the past years.
So hopefully, I can achieve them all this year.

[My new year resolutions for year 2013]

[1] To burn and get rid of all those things that brings back sad memories.
        
         I've spent almost the whole of 2012 grieving over things which I've lost, from changing of course and wasting one whole fucking year, to breaking up in a relationship. This year, I'm not going to waste anymore time being sad over such bullshit already. In 2012, I had been staying at home almost every fucking day, staying up late and waking up late, doing nothing except touching the piano and lying on the bed thinking of those sad things. Being with the wrong one really can make one feels more lonely and miserable than being single. Don't say I'm not good enough. I've spent 2010 trying to use my life to woo you, and spent my 2011 sacrificing every single shit and money on you just to make you happy, and lastly the whole of 2012 grieving over you. This year, you're out of my life already. And when I've planned it, I will stick to it, I will do it. I'm sure someday you will regret all of these, maybe 10 years down the road. You will realise that no one had ever treated you better than me, no one had ever loved you better than me. You will only realise all of these when you're finding the Mr Right of your life in the future. Right now, you are only blinded by your pampered life and your luxurious enjoyment. You don't see and feel the love someone has given you. You're used to living your pampered life, taking everything for granted. You even told everyone around you how bad I was. I don't really care, because I know for myself I'm not a bad person, and I don't know and don't care about your friends.

To be honest, you're someone who doesn't know what you want in life. All you do is to go shopping, act pretty(which you are not pretty at all because I can randomly pick anyone in the street and is much prettier than you, and of course much TALLER as well). And you're someone whom is bound to fail in every aspects of your life. And you're so materialistic to the point you can't even differentiate what is actually good for you and what is not. You want so many things yet reluctant to put in any effort to achieve them. I'm not saying these because you broke up with me, but because honestly as a 旁观者 I can totally see you are bound to fail, unless you change for the better. You don't have a really good look, yet don't want to buck up on your attitude, totally I don't know what to say. Hope your friends or family tell you this to wake you up from you own delusions. 

Anyway, don't say I'm not good. I've waited by your side ever since we broke up. This year I'm going to totally pretend you're dead. Waited for you the whole of 2012 and you showed me no sign of coming back at all. I'll take it that you're dead already. So, someday when I'm free I shall burn everything you've given me in the past, so that you can receive them and read them whenever you're bored down there in hell. Hope your family members would burn those things I've given you in the past, so you have more entertainment down there. 

Gonna burn them to you soon.

Take these in hell.

I don't want to woo anyone in this life again. It always leads to a one sided love relationship. Anyway, I don't believe someone as harmless as me wouldn't be loved. 

To accomplish this by: Before Chinese New Year. (At least you have some stuffs to see in hell before CNY)

[2]To see a doctor/brain doctor/psychologist/psychiatrist to cure I don't know what   is inside me.

Sometimes I really don't know what is going on inside me. But I know for sure I have a problem. Sometimes when you talk to me, you will notice that I will lose focus easily, and will just reply one word answer. I tend to socialise much lesser. I find it hard to sleep at night too. All those bad bullshits kept replaying and replaying all over again, making me insomnia. In the day i would daydream and at night I couldn't fall asleep because of it. Sometimes feeling dizzy too, and lost a lot of appetite. Maybe I've been bothered by all the bullshits that happened to me. It's been more than 1 year and I can't cure this. Gonna cure it this time round, hopefully.

To accomplish this by: Before Chinese New Year.

[3]To create another bank account for saving up money!

Gonna open up another bank account, purely for saving money only. At least I can have enough money to buy whatever I want when I grow up. (:

To accomplish this by: Before my attachment.

[4]Save enough money to go overseas alone after I graduate!

Why do I wanna go alone?

• I've not taken a plane before in my life.
• I want to spend some time alone outside this harsh cruel fast-paced country.
• Everyone have gone for their tours and trips, so why should I ask along? They've had their fun, so I shall have mine too.
• I wanna travel and see this world.
• I wanna be independent.
• It's a lifetime experience!

To accomplish this by: Before graduating.

[5]Do well for my Final Year Project and fucking graduate out of this school.

Hope I can finish everything early and enjoy early!

To accomplish this by: ASAP

[6]Pass my music exam with flying colours.

Hope I can get grade 6 by this year and fucking teach to earn some money! (:

To accomplish this by: Before my exam.

[7]I want to be independent, happy, and matured!

After so many bullshits happened this year, I've learnt quite a lot. Everyone in this world is an individual themselves. we should not depend on friends, wife, girlfriend, families, for anything. When people feel troubled, I always talk to them. But when I feel fucking upset, no one really cares at all. Even having a girlfriend drains my happiness away. She only cares about herself. Even friends doesn't really care when I've broken up, whereas I tried to keep them accompany when they've broken up with theirs. Family members tend to be over possessive and control too much of my life.

And honestly, I've been fucking sick of people who kept persuading me to go for religious activities. I'm not a monk or anything, we've different lifestyle, so PLEASE fucking stop asking me to join you for whatsoever thing OMG!

To accomplish this by: NOW!