Thursday, 10 January 2013

原来分手是需要练习的。

Quite surprised that many people view my blog!
Although I never put the link on Facebook, except just Twitter.
Everyone is saying that my blog seems sad and emo.
Writing a blog is like composing a music, it really reveals what your inner soul feels.
I'm not an emotional person, and not someone who would tell others my troubles.
So if I were to become one, it means that everything inside is killing me.

Anyway, tomorrow is the day she is going to be back.
Have to go there to fetch Benjamin from the airport.
Didn't really cared about her much, maybe just don't know what how to react when she's there.
It's been more than a year since I've ever meet her.
But the terrible feeling is still the same.
Breaking up or a divorce is one of the worse feeling on Earth.
It's like a psychological trauma that is stuck in your life forever.
Only those who had experienced it would understand.
Have been suffering like shit all these while ever since.
After a break up, it feels like nobody wants us anymore.
Sometimes it feels worrying whether anyone in this would love us, or did they even loved us at all.
It feels like being rejected by everything else in this world.

After everything ended, life doesn't just go back to normal.
At first, I would really care about her and what she is doing.
But there comes a point when everything inside me goes out of hand.
Confidence level went down all the way.
I don't know why, but everyone who is around me seems to have a motive.
Sometimes I feel inferior than anyone else, although they are just a normal human being.
It's quite hard to trust anyone else anymore.
Everyday seems blurry and cloudy.
Kind of did nothing everyday, except just lying on the bed and laze at home.
I don't even feel like going out at all.
Life gets even harder when you still have to deal with schoolwork and those classmate who may be quite irritating at times.
Really hate going to school and tolerating these people everyday.
Although they are good friends but they just don't know their limits.
Really can't be bothered to retaliate back already, totally no point at all.
Shall be a stricter person during year 3, so I won't have to deal with such people again.
I think I really cannot communicate well with engineering people.
I prefer talking to people who are less direct and thoughtful for other people's feelings.
Hope I can endure them for another 6 weeks!

Really appreciate those who are always there for me all these while.
Sorry for those who always confide their problems to me, because there's really a lot of things going inside me, so I can only listen but can't really cheer you up.
And also, I felt super guilty offending those whom I accidentally scolded just because their joke is too overboard.

Gonna sleep soon.
Hope tomorrow would be a smooth one.

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