What I Really Want?

Sometimes I really wonder, what am I going to do in the future?
Have been going through lots of shit ever since I'm out of secondary school.
Before I'm in a relationship, I'm a crazy, talk-nonsense, happy-go-lucky person.
Now I'm partially like that too, maybe not as much as before.

I don't know why, but did I really change so much after all these shit happened?
Especially last year, I've been changing like 12345678987654321 times.
Last time, I used to go out with friends in big groups, occupy my Fridays and weekends with friends that I have totally no time for myself.
But nowadays, sometimes Fridays or Saturdays I'm staying at home, not going out.
Not really sure if people are getting busier, or I am becoming a boring person.
Friends would go out with their friends, or they would cancel meetings at the very last minute.
Although it's quite irritating, but I'm used to it already.

Thanks to my polytechnic humans, I'm learning how to "shoot" people back whenever I'm being "shoot".
I hope it prepares me for the army, where there are many fucking this type of people.
Not really good or bad, but they are just another type of friends.
Quite new to this culture because most of my friends wouldn't do such things.

Anyway it's another 2 weeks and I don't have to see this class anymore.
Really don't feel comfortable being with another half of the class.
I really can't communicate with them at all.
They are just a bunch of people who are obsessed and addicted or whatever shit, with studying.
I don't match well with such type of "all work but no play makes Jack a dull boy" people.
Maybe it's about horoscope or whatever shit.
Hope I will meet fun and caring people in the future! (:

Anyway, I just seen this about my Chinese zodiac downstairs my house.

Wonder if this would be true or not.

It says I would meet another half HAHAHA

I just don't want to meet someone like that girl again.

It's really like an atomic bomb of my life.

After it explodes, the bomb disappeared and I have to pick myself up pieces by pieces.

Even now, I'm still picking them one by one, but there's improvement. (:

I think you can see that my blog is less "emo" nowadays. (:

Anyway for my career, I feel like being a self employed, opening a small company of firm that does events management/tourism/music/business, either one of them.

I have to admit that I hate listening to people's instructions, I like doing things alone with my own pace and style.

I hate doing things and not getting the benefits instantly.

For example, I hate people telling me to study hard then I will be successful in the future.

I want the benefits now, or in the early future.

If i work hard now, I want the salary to come latest by the end of the month.

I hate being discipline.

I'm someone inconsistent, I slack like fuck and will do work like fuck, only if I'm interested in it.

And I'm really fickle minded.

I chose engineering as a stepping stone to university.

Then I want to do something else other than engineering.

So my results may be shitty in this course.

I really want to do something I like, because "When you work for something you love, you don't have to work a single day".

And sincerely, I really hate doing projects and redoing them.

I hate staying back after school.

Just another 2 weeks to end this semester.

Another 11 months to end final-year-project.

Another 1 year 1 month to end all these bullshit! (:

The Singapore tour 4

Went for the Singapore Tour 4 with Wendy last Saturday again.
This time round was the south expedition.
Went to explore the southern green corridors of Singapore.
Was quite a tiring day, with the climbing of the Southern Ridges - Kent Ridge, Telok Blangah Hill, Mount Faber.
Although I had much school work to do, but I don't really care anyway.
I prioritise social life, exploring places, searching for inspirations, more than studying.
It doesn't mean that I wouldn't study, but I will not be crazy/obsessed over it.
Who says people who can't score GPA 4.0 cannot survive in Singapore?
Those who study well and get into university will get a stable income, but those who did not, they may be rich or poor, depending on what they are going to do in the future.

[Singapore Tour 4 - Southern Ridges]

Anyway, gonna post some pictures of the places I've went last Saturday.
Let the pictures tell the story. (:

First stop - Haw Par Villa. 

Quite a deserted place. In the past, it used to be as crowded as Orchard Road.

Weird statues which has a meaning to it.

Madam white snake.

苦海无涯，回头是岸。My Mandarin is quite cui, but I think it means "There's no end to a bitter sea, think twice before you regret."

Weird Qing Dynasty Manchu outfit. Looks like a dracula in the Hong Kong horror movies.

Wendy 自恋 just at the entrance of the 10 courts of hell.

Kent Ridge park,

Climbing up the hill at the foot of Kent Ridge.

I think this is Alexandra arch or something.

Sunset, as seen from HortPark.

Monkey at HortPark.

Henderson waves. Almost broke our legs when we reach here.

Labrador Park area, as seen from Henderson waves.

At the top of the whole shit.

Nice clouds~

Can see the sea from here!~

Orchard, Bukit Merah, Raffles Place, Chinatown, etc.

Beautiful sky (:

THE END

Myths and facts about me.

Saw someone's blog with something like this.
Gonna make another one similar too! (:
It's about what people say about me, and whether I think it's true or not.

Questions:

I'm a happy-go-lucky type of person.

No. I'm a complete different person inside me. Otherwise I won't even be writing a blog.


I seems very free and nothing to do at all.

No. I have many things to do, just that I like to do things at the last minute. I'm not someone who does things regularly and constantly. And I FUCKING hate discipline so don't ever say that word to me.


I don't take things seriously.

Don't regret when you say this. I will be the complete opposite of what I am.


I don't retaliate much when someone confronts me.

If he/she is someone I don't know, he/she will be dead. If he/she is a friend, I will retaliate only at the last resort, by then we wouldn't be friends already.


I don't get pissed off easily.

I have high tolerance, but you may not want to see the another side of me. (:


I'm not a morning person.

TRUE. I freaking fucking hate waking up early. So, don't ever fucking wake me up so early just to go out. (:


I like to go home late.

Quite true. My house has no freedom and is quite chaotic, so I only go home to sleep.


I always reply messages late and not answering my phone calls.

Truth is, I only reply messages late to avoid the topic you are talking about, but not you as a person. So don't fucking be persuasive. And I prefer texting to talking on the phone.


I talk to girls more than guys.

Quite true, especially when I feel that the guys around me will start their lame things like scolding and shooting each other around with words. Not my type of person. (: Prefer talking to people with not so masculine thinking.


I'm lame and childish.

You won't want to see me being serious.


I like to looking at attractive people.

If they're really pretty, why not? Looking is not a crime. Oh and if I were to tell a guy friend that someone in a certain direction is pretty, I'm just trying to break the ice, so stop being a fucking gay and pretend that you are so pure. (: Otherwise, not talking about this topic will make me feel gay going out with you. YUCK.

Friends from all walks of life.

Have been sleeping 4 hours every night for the past few weeks.
Wonder which human gave us this time table.
Every day except Tuesday starts at 8am.
Just woke up at 2+ just now.
Satisfied with the sleep.

Anyway gonna blog something random today.
Suddenly thought of it so gonna put it in here. (:

[Cliques around me]

Inside every clique, there will be someone closer than everyone else inside.
Gonna talk about few cliques around me. (:

Secondary school

Bunch of lively and caring people.
Although have not met them for very long, but whenever I meet them I'll always laugh like mad.
Can totally put my guards down whenever I'm with them.
They are more open to opinions and see things from different perspectives.
It's quite difficult to meet them because they always meet at very weird timing.
But sometimes will meet 1 or 2 for late night supper since they stay quite near to me.

And also, occasionally will meet the 2 Shauns from the clique.
One is always doing work and exercising and the other is more free to lepak in town.
But I still don't understand why the one that is more free doesn't want to trim his hair yet.
But whatever it is he is still a very understanding person and won't leave you to die anywhere.

Benjamin and friends

Knew them after going tuition after getting 0 marks for my Additional maths common test in secondary 3.
They are a bunch of ambitious people who always think of their future and how to make money fast.
Seems like everyone in the group has something they like.
From Chinese language to basketball to Android phones to photography to commando and all those shits.
Lucky I like music, otherwise I'm the odd one out.
After this guy came back from China, I haven't lepak with him in town for quite sometime already.
And they are already going army soon, or should say one has went into army already.
Can totally act stupid or whatever shit in front of them.
They are not judgemental so I don't have to put my guards up at all.

Popular bookshop humans

Actually consist of many humans inside but have not met many of them for so damn long.
The only one I've always met regularly is Momo and Jun Hong.
Another one got boyfriend then don't know lost where already.
Can totally say what I feel and do what i want being with them.
Always did weird things, like walking from Sembawang to Pasir Ris with Jun Hong.
Took 6hours, from 2.15pm to 8.15pm.
Almost laugh like crazy because I can't believe I would do something like this.
And Momo is my 妹妹 so I can punch her anytime. HAHAHA
Very long never punch her already, she is always so busy.
Hope she organise a steamboat party during Chinese New Year.




School of Design

Although it only consist of one person I'm close with.
Always hang out at her house during Deepavali to play fire.
And the police always came every year. 
Damn fucking funny. 
One of the most understanding friend I've ever had.



Digimon and the Artist

Although I've only met them for a few times, but we can always talk until damn late.
Especially Amirah, who like totally understand me and thinks the same way as me.
It's hard to find someone who thinks the same way as me.
Nice having heart to heart talks with them.
Can totally put my guards off, defense-less, yet won't be attacked.
Hope to meet up more! (:

Primary school people

Quite glad we've always kept in touch with each other since primary school.
Have another 妹妹 here, occasionally will go running with her and another army guy to Woodlands Waterfront.
And always drink Starbucks Coffee too.



Engineering people

I don't know what is wrong with either me or them, but somehow always got some problem one.
Maybe they are from engineering school.
This is the only clique that I can't put my guards down at all, or else will kena shoot by them like crazy, even when I'm doing nothing.
A bunch of IQ fucking good people, but they can't seems to sense emotions.
Although they are good people, but they sometimes don't know how to see their limits.
I guess I can never meet them in groups. Maybe when we've graduated, I shall meet them individually instead of a group. If not kena all sorts of bullshits again.

Except for one guy whom I always go to his fucking house to slack.
And I still don't get it why would people stay somewhere in the city area.
Although this guy always have the want-to-shoot-someone face, but he definitely is a good person to be with, because he won't pangseh one, and he will not fucking leave you to die.

And another guy who always wants to do his things so fucking perfect.
I can totally see that he is a mischievous person but he at least has a good heart because he will fucking give up his seat to some fucking humans in the train.

Oh and one more filthy rich guy. Everytime when we have no money, he will somehow help us pay a little bit. I don't know how this guy gets so much money actually. 

And there's one fucking guy who says I doesn't think that he is in the clique just because I didn't mention about him in here. Anyway, he is someone who is always bullied by me. I think he just got break up with a girl called Chermaine or something, then he is still constantly in contact with her until now, because I somehow accidentally peep into his phone. No wonder this guy has been behaving weirdly recently.

  Gonna show this to them. (: HAHA

我最近在干吗。

Gonna be a random post tonight since it's Friday and I've nothing to do before I sleep.
About some stuffs I did recently.
Anyway some of my classmates are reading this blog and has become irritating.
Especially when one f***** read it aloud in front of me.

Things I did last Thursday.

Went to class fucking late without a bag.

 Went to H&M @ Somerset after school to accompany some person to do some shopping.

 Met Mon and Fir at Clementi Mall MacDonald's at night. Always had a good chat whenever I met them.

Things I did last Friday.

Did some super complicated things in the morning.

View from friend's house. Nice right (:

Slacking at Clarke Quay.

It's quite a random shit.
Wanted to post another one but I'm too sleepy already.
Shall blog about it tomorrow then.
Goodnight!~

Things I have learnt from 2012.

Last year was a gloomy year.
Yet I had learnt many things about life.
Quite thankful for that too!
Anyway I'm going to summarise everything up nicely.

What have I learnt?

About friendship:

1) After breaking up, it's natural to fall into a very depressing state. People may find you becoming a boring person. Those who stood by you and never left, cherish them. They are really good friends.

2) Although some close friends may be harsh with their words, never scold or insult them. If you did, apologise as soon as possible. At a depressing state, it's difficult to handle the truth and critics.

Before a relationship:

1) Find out more about him/her before advancing the relationship. This will lead to lesser conflicts when together.

2) Be with someone who you doesn't need to impress. Be yourself.

3) Be with someone who isn't materialistic. It will really cost a bomb. And he/she will not appreciate you for who you are.

4) Don't accept someone for his/her kindness, beauty, care, money, love. Accept him/her only if you truly love him/her.

5) Love him/her with marriage in mind. Don't be half-hearted, there's no point.

6) Don't ever woo someone who had just broken up. You are in danger of being used as a substitute. Even if he/she says she loves you, don't believe it too soon.

In a relationship:

1) When there's a problem, it takes two party to solve it together.

2) Don't hold hatred or grudge against each other.  Don't accumulate any anger. Surely will cause break up sooner or later.

3) Appreciate everything your partner does for you. It's really not easy doing something for someone, so if someone does things for you, it shows how much you meant to him/her.

4) Although love is unconditional, but it requires give and take too. At least don't take things for granted. Be thankful for everything they do for you.

5) If you feel that the relationship can't last, break up before the 2nd month anniversary. It's easier to move on.

6) Try your best to be committed in the relationship. It's okay to be romantic and mushy. And always be faithful and loyal to him/her.

7) You may love your family more than him/her, but don't be overboard on it.

8) Balance the time between relationship and friendship. Don't ever neglect friends. And don't make your partner feel less prioritised. 

9) Don't try to hide your partner away from your friends and families. It will make them ponder if you really love them. Even if your parents doesn't allow you to have a relationship, they will accept it sooner or later, it your relationship is a healthy one.

After a relationship:

1) Wait for awhile before moving on to see if there's anything that can be done to patch back.

2) Throw away everything he/she gives you. It is psychologically poisonous.

3) Contact him/her as less as possible.

4) If you are the one feeling sad, it means the other party is at fault. Just move on, because he/she will regret this in the far future.

5) Try not to stay at home, try not to isolate. It's psychologically unhealthy.

6) Don't use someone else as a substitute after losing your partner. You will make him/her sad, which will have karmic effect back on you in the future.

7) See a psychiatrist/psychologist if you don't feel yourself, or don't feel happy after half a year. It's an unconscious block, or depression.

For me, I want...

1) Someone who doesn't mind eating hawker centre food everyday.

2) Someone who loves me as much as they love their family.

3) Someone who is not affected by their past relationships.

4) Someone who loves me as much as I love her.

5) Someone who doesn't take me for granted.

6) Someone who accepts my flaws.

7) Someone who will take care of me when I'm sick, like how I take care of her.

8) Someone who doesn't get sick meeting each other everyday, spending our daily lives together.

9) Someone who can be as dearly as a wife, even before marriage.

10) Someone who forgives me for my mistakes, because I'm not perfect.

Gonna sleep now!

Thanks for reading this random post!

Shall fuck off now. Bye!

Types of humans I admire and look down upon.

After looking at what Benjamin posted in his Tumblr, I decided to do something like that too.

People I admire:

1) Those who are kind hearted, compassionate and forgiving.

2) People who are passionate about music, art, language poetry. They have an inner elegance, which is much worthy than an outer beauty.

3) People who have a dream and a goal in their life, and is working hard on it to achieve them.

4) People who are independent, less reliant on others.

5) People who have their own thinking, own way of life.

6) People who likes classical things. Things like piano, classical, romantique, baroque, renaissance, violin, Chopin, Beethovan, Van Goth.

7) People who stick to tradition.

People I look down upon:

1) People who are disciplined and scheduled people. Rules are dead, and they are letting something dead to rule over them. Humans are not a robot, or a programming device.

2) Those 没有主见 people. It's bad enough if you are a follower. But if you are a follower of someone who is evil, then it's hopeless.

3) People who indulge in wealth and materialistic things. You can't bring money to your grave. 

4) People who have high IQ but low EQ. Attitude and personality are more important than intelligence.

5) People who abuse their outer beauty. To me, if you are nice on the outside and ugly on the inside, you are nothing at all.

6) People who are unforgiving. You are worse than the devil. 

7) People who are competitive. Competition leads to opposing forces, which leads to disharmony. 

8) People who only finds you only when they need something. I can assure that such people will not have any good friends.

9) Selective talkers. 

10) Big mouth people. You shall never be trusted again.

11) People who is afraid of the strong, and bullies the weak. One word, disgusting.

12) People who has a low level of EQ that they can't sense other people's emotions.

13) People who try to buy attention and friends using money. This is disgusting.

14) People who doesn't know their limit. 

15) People who take things for granted.

16) People who cancels appointment at the very last minute. Especially for unimportant things. Totally an irresponsible piece of shit.

17) People who breaks promises.

18) Corrupted people. Those who indulge themselves in one-night stand, adulterous things, alcohol drinking, partying. A sign of the end of the world.

19) Those 不自量力 people. They don't know where they stand, yet criticise others.

20) Judgemental people, people who analyse others before even knowing them well.

21) People who enjoy too much, yet so useless. At least before enjoying, achieve something first.

22) Lucky people. I prefer someone who is hardworking than lucky.

23) People who are direct, and those that doesn't sugarcoat their words. Totally disgusting.

24) People who doesn't care about other people's feelings when saying or doing things.

One year later.

I can't believe it but it's finally one year later that I'm beginning to let go. 

Last year was a bitter one, wasting my life day by day. 
Felt like a sick patient, lying on bed almost everyday.
I was so confused, don't where I'm heading to, don't care what I'm doing. 
Was dragging my life to do almost everything and anything. 

Yesterday went to the airport to fetch Benjamin back home from China. 
Everyone came back and waiting to be graduated.
Saw her too, didn't really cared. 
Then, I realise everyone around me is graduating soon.
All of them had achievements in their lives, except for me. 
It was then that I realised that I could not afford to waste my life anymore, like how I wasted my 2012. 

I realised that physical pain can be cured with the help of people and medicines.
But for emotional and psychological pain, we can only cure it ourselves.
No one will care about us, no one can see the pain, only we ourselves.
Although it's difficult, I really got no choice but to "shake" myself up and tell myself to 正经一点. 
I can't be like this anymore, can't be like this forever. 
Everyone is achieving something, so I should too. 

I think I should start fulfilling my first new year resolution soon. 
I should do whatever I want to do, whatever that makes me happy. 
Maybe I'm not touching engineering anymore, because I'm not fitted for it. 
Furthermore, it's really difficult to communicate with engineering people. 
Maybe I should do music in the future.
I know it's not feasible in the society, I know I'm not talented, but at least it's something I'm passionate in. 

I shall not think about the past anymore.
Let those beautiful memories fade away.
I had done my part as a good boyfriend for her, it's not my fault that she didn't appreciate it.
I'm not a perfect person, yet she wanted one.
She couldn't accept my imperfections, although I tried my best to fight for her back. 

2012 was a torturous year, but I had learnt a lot of things from it.
I've learnt that we shouldn't depend on others for happiness.
I've learnt to be independent.

I've learnt that everyone in this world is on their own.
I've seen the harsh and cruel side of the world. 

May this year be a happy and fulfilling one. 

原来分手是需要练习的。

Quite surprised that many people view my blog!

Although I never put the link on Facebook, except just Twitter.

Everyone is saying that my blog seems sad and emo.

Writing a blog is like composing a music, it really reveals what your inner soul feels.

I'm not an emotional person, and not someone who would tell others my troubles.

So if I were to become one, it means that everything inside is killing me.

Anyway, tomorrow is the day she is going to be back.

Have to go there to fetch Benjamin from the airport.

Didn't really cared about her much, maybe just don't know what how to react when she's there.

It's been more than a year since I've ever meet her.

But the terrible feeling is still the same.

Breaking up or a divorce is one of the worse feeling on Earth.

It's like a psychological trauma that is stuck in your life forever.

Only those who had experienced it would understand.

Have been suffering like shit all these while ever since.

After a break up, it feels like nobody wants us anymore.

Sometimes it feels worrying whether anyone in this would love us, or did they even loved us at all.

It feels like being rejected by everything else in this world.

After everything ended, life doesn't just go back to normal.

At first, I would really care about her and what she is doing.

But there comes a point when everything inside me goes out of hand.

Confidence level went down all the way.

I don't know why, but everyone who is around me seems to have a motive.

Sometimes I feel inferior than anyone else, although they are just a normal human being.

It's quite hard to trust anyone else anymore.

Everyday seems blurry and cloudy.

Kind of did nothing everyday, except just lying on the bed and laze at home.

I don't even feel like going out at all.

Life gets even harder when you still have to deal with schoolwork and those classmate who may be quite irritating at times.

Really hate going to school and tolerating these people everyday.

Although they are good friends but they just don't know their limits.

Really can't be bothered to retaliate back already, totally no point at all.

Shall be a stricter person during year 3, so I won't have to deal with such people again.

I think I really cannot communicate well with engineering people.

I prefer talking to people who are less direct and thoughtful for other people's feelings.

Hope I can endure them for another 6 weeks!

Really appreciate those who are always there for me all these while.

Sorry for those who always confide their problems to me, because there's really a lot of things going inside me, so I can only listen but can't really cheer you up.

And also, I felt super guilty offending those whom I accidentally scolded just because their joke is too overboard.

Gonna sleep soon.

Hope tomorrow would be a smooth one.

New year resolutions!

It's 2013 already! Time really flies.
And we didn't died on 21/12/2012!
We've survived so many doomsday hoax so if there is more to come, no one gives a shit anymore.

Anyway, I'm gonna jot down some resolutions for this year.
This time, I've to set a deadline for each and every single resolution because I'm afraid I will not achieve them again, like how it was in the past years.
So hopefully, I can achieve them all this year.

[My new year resolutions for year 2013]

[1] To burn and get rid of all those things that brings back sad memories.
        
         I've spent almost the whole of 2012 grieving over things which I've lost, from changing of course and wasting one whole fucking year, to breaking up in a relationship. This year, I'm not going to waste anymore time being sad over such bullshit already. In 2012, I had been staying at home almost every fucking day, staying up late and waking up late, doing nothing except touching the piano and lying on the bed thinking of those sad things. Being with the wrong one really can make one feels more lonely and miserable than being single. Don't say I'm not good enough. I've spent 2010 trying to use my life to woo you, and spent my 2011 sacrificing every single shit and money on you just to make you happy, and lastly the whole of 2012 grieving over you. This year, you're out of my life already. And when I've planned it, I will stick to it, I will do it. I'm sure someday you will regret all of these, maybe 10 years down the road. You will realise that no one had ever treated you better than me, no one had ever loved you better than me. You will only realise all of these when you're finding the Mr Right of your life in the future. Right now, you are only blinded by your pampered life and your luxurious enjoyment. You don't see and feel the love someone has given you. You're used to living your pampered life, taking everything for granted. You even told everyone around you how bad I was. I don't really care, because I know for myself I'm not a bad person, and I don't know and don't care about your friends.

To be honest, you're someone who doesn't know what you want in life. All you do is to go shopping, act pretty(which you are not pretty at all because I can randomly pick anyone in the street and is much prettier than you, and of course much TALLER as well). And you're someone whom is bound to fail in every aspects of your life. And you're so materialistic to the point you can't even differentiate what is actually good for you and what is not. You want so many things yet reluctant to put in any effort to achieve them. I'm not saying these because you broke up with me, but because honestly as a 旁观者 I can totally see you are bound to fail, unless you change for the better. You don't have a really good look, yet don't want to buck up on your attitude, totally I don't know what to say. Hope your friends or family tell you this to wake you up from you own delusions. 

Anyway, don't say I'm not good. I've waited by your side ever since we broke up. This year I'm going to totally pretend you're dead. Waited for you the whole of 2012 and you showed me no sign of coming back at all. I'll take it that you're dead already. So, someday when I'm free I shall burn everything you've given me in the past, so that you can receive them and read them whenever you're bored down there in hell. Hope your family members would burn those things I've given you in the past, so you have more entertainment down there. 

Gonna burn them to you soon.

Take these in hell.

I don't want to woo anyone in this life again. It always leads to a one sided love relationship. Anyway, I don't believe someone as harmless as me wouldn't be loved. 

To accomplish this by: Before Chinese New Year. (At least you have some stuffs to see in hell before CNY)

[2]To see a doctor/brain doctor/psychologist/psychiatrist to cure I don't know what   is inside me.

Sometimes I really don't know what is going on inside me. But I know for sure I have a problem. Sometimes when you talk to me, you will notice that I will lose focus easily, and will just reply one word answer. I tend to socialise much lesser. I find it hard to sleep at night too. All those bad bullshits kept replaying and replaying all over again, making me insomnia. In the day i would daydream and at night I couldn't fall asleep because of it. Sometimes feeling dizzy too, and lost a lot of appetite. Maybe I've been bothered by all the bullshits that happened to me. It's been more than 1 year and I can't cure this. Gonna cure it this time round, hopefully.

To accomplish this by: Before Chinese New Year.

[3]To create another bank account for saving up money!

Gonna open up another bank account, purely for saving money only. At least I can have enough money to buy whatever I want when I grow up. (:

To accomplish this by: Before my attachment.

[4]Save enough money to go overseas alone after I graduate!

Why do I wanna go alone?

• I've not taken a plane before in my life.
• I want to spend some time alone outside this harsh cruel fast-paced country.
• Everyone have gone for their tours and trips, so why should I ask along? They've had their fun, so I shall have mine too.
• I wanna travel and see this world.
• I wanna be independent.
• It's a lifetime experience!

To accomplish this by: Before graduating.

[5]Do well for my Final Year Project and fucking graduate out of this school.

Hope I can finish everything early and enjoy early!

To accomplish this by: ASAP

[6]Pass my music exam with flying colours.

Hope I can get grade 6 by this year and fucking teach to earn some money! (:

To accomplish this by: Before my exam.

[7]I want to be independent, happy, and matured!

After so many bullshits happened this year, I've learnt quite a lot. Everyone in this world is an individual themselves. we should not depend on friends, wife, girlfriend, families, for anything. When people feel troubled, I always talk to them. But when I feel fucking upset, no one really cares at all. Even having a girlfriend drains my happiness away. She only cares about herself. Even friends doesn't really care when I've broken up, whereas I tried to keep them accompany when they've broken up with theirs. Family members tend to be over possessive and control too much of my life.

And honestly, I've been fucking sick of people who kept persuading me to go for religious activities. I'm not a monk or anything, we've different lifestyle, so PLEASE fucking stop asking me to join you for whatsoever thing OMG!

To accomplish this by: NOW!