What I Really Want?

Sometimes I really wonder, what am I going to do in the future?
Have been going through lots of shit ever since I'm out of secondary school.
Before I'm in a relationship, I'm a crazy, talk-nonsense, happy-go-lucky person.
Now I'm partially like that too, maybe not as much as before.

I don't know why, but did I really change so much after all these shit happened?
Especially last year, I've been changing like 12345678987654321 times.
Last time, I used to go out with friends in big groups, occupy my Fridays and weekends with friends that I have totally no time for myself.
But nowadays, sometimes Fridays or Saturdays I'm staying at home, not going out.
Not really sure if people are getting busier, or I am becoming a boring person.
Friends would go out with their friends, or they would cancel meetings at the very last minute.
Although it's quite irritating, but I'm used to it already.

Thanks to my polytechnic humans, I'm learning how to "shoot" people back whenever I'm being "shoot".
I hope it prepares me for the army, where there are many fucking this type of people.
Not really good or bad, but they are just another type of friends.
Quite new to this culture because most of my friends wouldn't do such things.

Anyway it's another 2 weeks and I don't have to see this class anymore.
Really don't feel comfortable being with another half of the class.
I really can't communicate with them at all.
They are just a bunch of people who are obsessed and addicted or whatever shit, with studying.
I don't match well with such type of "all work but no play makes Jack a dull boy" people.
Maybe it's about horoscope or whatever shit.
Hope I will meet fun and caring people in the future! (:

Anyway, I just seen this about my Chinese zodiac downstairs my house.

Wonder if this would be true or not.

It says I would meet another half HAHAHA

I just don't want to meet someone like that girl again.

It's really like an atomic bomb of my life.

After it explodes, the bomb disappeared and I have to pick myself up pieces by pieces.

Even now, I'm still picking them one by one, but there's improvement. (:

I think you can see that my blog is less "emo" nowadays. (:

Anyway for my career, I feel like being a self employed, opening a small company of firm that does events management/tourism/music/business, either one of them.

I have to admit that I hate listening to people's instructions, I like doing things alone with my own pace and style.

I hate doing things and not getting the benefits instantly.

For example, I hate people telling me to study hard then I will be successful in the future.

I want the benefits now, or in the early future.

If i work hard now, I want the salary to come latest by the end of the month.

I hate being discipline.

I'm someone inconsistent, I slack like fuck and will do work like fuck, only if I'm interested in it.

And I'm really fickle minded.

I chose engineering as a stepping stone to university.

Then I want to do something else other than engineering.

So my results may be shitty in this course.

I really want to do something I like, because "When you work for something you love, you don't have to work a single day".

And sincerely, I really hate doing projects and redoing them.

I hate staying back after school.

Just another 2 weeks to end this semester.

Another 11 months to end final-year-project.

Another 1 year 1 month to end all these bullshit! (:

The Singapore tour 4

Went for the Singapore Tour 4 with Wendy last Saturday again.
This time round was the south expedition.
Went to explore the southern green corridors of Singapore.
Was quite a tiring day, with the climbing of the Southern Ridges - Kent Ridge, Telok Blangah Hill, Mount Faber.
Although I had much school work to do, but I don't really care anyway.
I prioritise social life, exploring places, searching for inspirations, more than studying.
It doesn't mean that I wouldn't study, but I will not be crazy/obsessed over it.
Who says people who can't score GPA 4.0 cannot survive in Singapore?
Those who study well and get into university will get a stable income, but those who did not, they may be rich or poor, depending on what they are going to do in the future.

[Singapore Tour 4 - Southern Ridges]

Anyway, gonna post some pictures of the places I've went last Saturday.
Let the pictures tell the story. (:

First stop - Haw Par Villa. 

Quite a deserted place. In the past, it used to be as crowded as Orchard Road.

Weird statues which has a meaning to it.

Madam white snake.

苦海无涯，回头是岸。My Mandarin is quite cui, but I think it means "There's no end to a bitter sea, think twice before you regret."

Weird Qing Dynasty Manchu outfit. Looks like a dracula in the Hong Kong horror movies.

Wendy 自恋 just at the entrance of the 10 courts of hell.

Kent Ridge park,

Climbing up the hill at the foot of Kent Ridge.

I think this is Alexandra arch or something.

Sunset, as seen from HortPark.

Monkey at HortPark.

Henderson waves. Almost broke our legs when we reach here.

Labrador Park area, as seen from Henderson waves.

At the top of the whole shit.

Nice clouds~

Can see the sea from here!~

Orchard, Bukit Merah, Raffles Place, Chinatown, etc.

Beautiful sky (:

THE END

Myths and facts about me.

Saw someone's blog with something like this.
Gonna make another one similar too! (:
It's about what people say about me, and whether I think it's true or not.

Questions:

I'm a happy-go-lucky type of person.

No. I'm a complete different person inside me. Otherwise I won't even be writing a blog.


I seems very free and nothing to do at all.

No. I have many things to do, just that I like to do things at the last minute. I'm not someone who does things regularly and constantly. And I FUCKING hate discipline so don't ever say that word to me.


I don't take things seriously.

Don't regret when you say this. I will be the complete opposite of what I am.


I don't retaliate much when someone confronts me.

If he/she is someone I don't know, he/she will be dead. If he/she is a friend, I will retaliate only at the last resort, by then we wouldn't be friends already.


I don't get pissed off easily.

I have high tolerance, but you may not want to see the another side of me. (:


I'm not a morning person.

TRUE. I freaking fucking hate waking up early. So, don't ever fucking wake me up so early just to go out. (:


I like to go home late.

Quite true. My house has no freedom and is quite chaotic, so I only go home to sleep.


I always reply messages late and not answering my phone calls.

Truth is, I only reply messages late to avoid the topic you are talking about, but not you as a person. So don't fucking be persuasive. And I prefer texting to talking on the phone.


I talk to girls more than guys.

Quite true, especially when I feel that the guys around me will start their lame things like scolding and shooting each other around with words. Not my type of person. (: Prefer talking to people with not so masculine thinking.


I'm lame and childish.

You won't want to see me being serious.


I like to looking at attractive people.

If they're really pretty, why not? Looking is not a crime. Oh and if I were to tell a guy friend that someone in a certain direction is pretty, I'm just trying to break the ice, so stop being a fucking gay and pretend that you are so pure. (: Otherwise, not talking about this topic will make me feel gay going out with you. YUCK.

Friends from all walks of life.

Have been sleeping 4 hours every night for the past few weeks.
Wonder which human gave us this time table.
Every day except Tuesday starts at 8am.
Just woke up at 2+ just now.
Satisfied with the sleep.

Anyway gonna blog something random today.
Suddenly thought of it so gonna put it in here. (:

[Cliques around me]

Inside every clique, there will be someone closer than everyone else inside.
Gonna talk about few cliques around me. (:

Secondary school

Bunch of lively and caring people.
Although have not met them for very long, but whenever I meet them I'll always laugh like mad.
Can totally put my guards down whenever I'm with them.
They are more open to opinions and see things from different perspectives.
It's quite difficult to meet them because they always meet at very weird timing.
But sometimes will meet 1 or 2 for late night supper since they stay quite near to me.

And also, occasionally will meet the 2 Shauns from the clique.
One is always doing work and exercising and the other is more free to lepak in town.
But I still don't understand why the one that is more free doesn't want to trim his hair yet.
But whatever it is he is still a very understanding person and won't leave you to die anywhere.

Benjamin and friends

Knew them after going tuition after getting 0 marks for my Additional maths common test in secondary 3.
They are a bunch of ambitious people who always think of their future and how to make money fast.
Seems like everyone in the group has something they like.
From Chinese language to basketball to Android phones to photography to commando and all those shits.
Lucky I like music, otherwise I'm the odd one out.
After this guy came back from China, I haven't lepak with him in town for quite sometime already.
And they are already going army soon, or should say one has went into army already.
Can totally act stupid or whatever shit in front of them.
They are not judgemental so I don't have to put my guards up at all.

Popular bookshop humans

Actually consist of many humans inside but have not met many of them for so damn long.
The only one I've always met regularly is Momo and Jun Hong.
Another one got boyfriend then don't know lost where already.
Can totally say what I feel and do what i want being with them.
Always did weird things, like walking from Sembawang to Pasir Ris with Jun Hong.
Took 6hours, from 2.15pm to 8.15pm.
Almost laugh like crazy because I can't believe I would do something like this.
And Momo is my 妹妹 so I can punch her anytime. HAHAHA
Very long never punch her already, she is always so busy.
Hope she organise a steamboat party during Chinese New Year.




School of Design

Although it only consist of one person I'm close with.
Always hang out at her house during Deepavali to play fire.
And the police always came every year. 
Damn fucking funny. 
One of the most understanding friend I've ever had.



Digimon and the Artist

Although I've only met them for a few times, but we can always talk until damn late.
Especially Amirah, who like totally understand me and thinks the same way as me.
It's hard to find someone who thinks the same way as me.
Nice having heart to heart talks with them.
Can totally put my guards off, defense-less, yet won't be attacked.
Hope to meet up more! (:

Primary school people

Quite glad we've always kept in touch with each other since primary school.
Have another 妹妹 here, occasionally will go running with her and another army guy to Woodlands Waterfront.
And always drink Starbucks Coffee too.



Engineering people

I don't know what is wrong with either me or them, but somehow always got some problem one.
Maybe they are from engineering school.
This is the only clique that I can't put my guards down at all, or else will kena shoot by them like crazy, even when I'm doing nothing.
A bunch of IQ fucking good people, but they can't seems to sense emotions.
Although they are good people, but they sometimes don't know how to see their limits.
I guess I can never meet them in groups. Maybe when we've graduated, I shall meet them individually instead of a group. If not kena all sorts of bullshits again.

Except for one guy whom I always go to his fucking house to slack.
And I still don't get it why would people stay somewhere in the city area.
Although this guy always have the want-to-shoot-someone face, but he definitely is a good person to be with, because he won't pangseh one, and he will not fucking leave you to die.

And another guy who always wants to do his things so fucking perfect.
I can totally see that he is a mischievous person but he at least has a good heart because he will fucking give up his seat to some fucking humans in the train.

Oh and one more filthy rich guy. Everytime when we have no money, he will somehow help us pay a little bit. I don't know how this guy gets so much money actually. 

And there's one fucking guy who says I doesn't think that he is in the clique just because I didn't mention about him in here. Anyway, he is someone who is always bullied by me. I think he just got break up with a girl called Chermaine or something, then he is still constantly in contact with her until now, because I somehow accidentally peep into his phone. No wonder this guy has been behaving weirdly recently.

  Gonna show this to them. (: HAHA

我最近在干吗。

Gonna be a random post tonight since it's Friday and I've nothing to do before I sleep.
About some stuffs I did recently.
Anyway some of my classmates are reading this blog and has become irritating.
Especially when one f***** read it aloud in front of me.

Things I did last Thursday.

Went to class fucking late without a bag.

 Went to H&M @ Somerset after school to accompany some person to do some shopping.

 Met Mon and Fir at Clementi Mall MacDonald's at night. Always had a good chat whenever I met them.

Things I did last Friday.

Did some super complicated things in the morning.

View from friend's house. Nice right (:

Slacking at Clarke Quay.

It's quite a random shit.
Wanted to post another one but I'm too sleepy already.
Shall blog about it tomorrow then.
Goodnight!~

Things I have learnt from 2012.

Last year was a gloomy year.
Yet I had learnt many things about life.
Quite thankful for that too!
Anyway I'm going to summarise everything up nicely.

What have I learnt?

About friendship:

1) After breaking up, it's natural to fall into a very depressing state. People may find you becoming a boring person. Those who stood by you and never left, cherish them. They are really good friends.

2) Although some close friends may be harsh with their words, never scold or insult them. If you did, apologise as soon as possible. At a depressing state, it's difficult to handle the truth and critics.

Before a relationship:

1) Find out more about him/her before advancing the relationship. This will lead to lesser conflicts when together.

2) Be with someone who you doesn't need to impress. Be yourself.

3) Be with someone who isn't materialistic. It will really cost a bomb. And he/she will not appreciate you for who you are.

4) Don't accept someone for his/her kindness, beauty, care, money, love. Accept him/her only if you truly love him/her.

5) Love him/her with marriage in mind. Don't be half-hearted, there's no point.

6) Don't ever woo someone who had just broken up. You are in danger of being used as a substitute. Even if he/she says she loves you, don't believe it too soon.

In a relationship:

1) When there's a problem, it takes two party to solve it together.

2) Don't hold hatred or grudge against each other.  Don't accumulate any anger. Surely will cause break up sooner or later.

3) Appreciate everything your partner does for you. It's really not easy doing something for someone, so if someone does things for you, it shows how much you meant to him/her.

4) Although love is unconditional, but it requires give and take too. At least don't take things for granted. Be thankful for everything they do for you.

5) If you feel that the relationship can't last, break up before the 2nd month anniversary. It's easier to move on.

6) Try your best to be committed in the relationship. It's okay to be romantic and mushy. And always be faithful and loyal to him/her.

7) You may love your family more than him/her, but don't be overboard on it.

8) Balance the time between relationship and friendship. Don't ever neglect friends. And don't make your partner feel less prioritised. 

9) Don't try to hide your partner away from your friends and families. It will make them ponder if you really love them. Even if your parents doesn't allow you to have a relationship, they will accept it sooner or later, it your relationship is a healthy one.

After a relationship:

1) Wait for awhile before moving on to see if there's anything that can be done to patch back.

2) Throw away everything he/she gives you. It is psychologically poisonous.

3) Contact him/her as less as possible.

4) If you are the one feeling sad, it means the other party is at fault. Just move on, because he/she will regret this in the far future.

5) Try not to stay at home, try not to isolate. It's psychologically unhealthy.

6) Don't use someone else as a substitute after losing your partner. You will make him/her sad, which will have karmic effect back on you in the future.

7) See a psychiatrist/psychologist if you don't feel yourself, or don't feel happy after half a year. It's an unconscious block, or depression.

For me, I want...

1) Someone who doesn't mind eating hawker centre food everyday.

2) Someone who loves me as much as they love their family.

3) Someone who is not affected by their past relationships.

4) Someone who loves me as much as I love her.

5) Someone who doesn't take me for granted.

6) Someone who accepts my flaws.

7) Someone who will take care of me when I'm sick, like how I take care of her.

8) Someone who doesn't get sick meeting each other everyday, spending our daily lives together.

9) Someone who can be as dearly as a wife, even before marriage.

10) Someone who forgives me for my mistakes, because I'm not perfect.

Gonna sleep now!

Thanks for reading this random post!

Shall fuck off now. Bye!

Types of humans I admire and look down upon.

After looking at what Benjamin posted in his Tumblr, I decided to do something like that too.

People I admire:

1) Those who are kind hearted, compassionate and forgiving.

2) People who are passionate about music, art, language poetry. They have an inner elegance, which is much worthy than an outer beauty.

3) People who have a dream and a goal in their life, and is working hard on it to achieve them.

4) People who are independent, less reliant on others.

5) People who have their own thinking, own way of life.

6) People who likes classical things. Things like piano, classical, romantique, baroque, renaissance, violin, Chopin, Beethovan, Van Goth.

7) People who stick to tradition.

People I look down upon:

1) People who are disciplined and scheduled people. Rules are dead, and they are letting something dead to rule over them. Humans are not a robot, or a programming device.

2) Those 没有主见 people. It's bad enough if you are a follower. But if you are a follower of someone who is evil, then it's hopeless.

3) People who indulge in wealth and materialistic things. You can't bring money to your grave. 

4) People who have high IQ but low EQ. Attitude and personality are more important than intelligence.

5) People who abuse their outer beauty. To me, if you are nice on the outside and ugly on the inside, you are nothing at all.

6) People who are unforgiving. You are worse than the devil. 

7) People who are competitive. Competition leads to opposing forces, which leads to disharmony. 

8) People who only finds you only when they need something. I can assure that such people will not have any good friends.

9) Selective talkers. 

10) Big mouth people. You shall never be trusted again.

11) People who is afraid of the strong, and bullies the weak. One word, disgusting.

12) People who has a low level of EQ that they can't sense other people's emotions.

13) People who try to buy attention and friends using money. This is disgusting.

14) People who doesn't know their limit. 

15) People who take things for granted.

16) People who cancels appointment at the very last minute. Especially for unimportant things. Totally an irresponsible piece of shit.

17) People who breaks promises.

18) Corrupted people. Those who indulge themselves in one-night stand, adulterous things, alcohol drinking, partying. A sign of the end of the world.

19) Those 不自量力 people. They don't know where they stand, yet criticise others.

20) Judgemental people, people who analyse others before even knowing them well.

21) People who enjoy too much, yet so useless. At least before enjoying, achieve something first.

22) Lucky people. I prefer someone who is hardworking than lucky.

23) People who are direct, and those that doesn't sugarcoat their words. Totally disgusting.

24) People who doesn't care about other people's feelings when saying or doing things.